You have the right to be safe! 

If your partner is hurting or controlling you in any way, it’s not your fault. You deserve to be safe and treated with respect.

“Safe” looks different for everyone. Here are some things that can help.

✔️Remember what you have done in the past that has helped to keep you safe.

✔️Talk to people in your life who can help you get safer.

✔️Make a plan for where you could go or who you could call in an emergency.

✔️Trust your instincts- if something feels unsafe, take it seriously.

✔️Contact the following resources for confidential support 24/7:

 If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

National Domestic Violence Hotline  Text “Start” to 88788, Call 800-799-SAFE (7233),  Chat and more information at the hotline.org

The Deaf Hotline: 855-812-1001 (VP), more information at thedeafhotline.org

Connecticut Safe Connect- State Domestic Violence Hotline, call or text: 1-888-774-2900, chat or more information at ctsafeconnect.org

Free Legal Aid in Connecticut, Call or text: 1-888-774-2900 or 860-344-0380 (from Middletown and Hartford) Monday through Friday, 9am-12pm and 1-2pm, Chat and more information ctlawhelp.org 

Connecticut 211 helps you locate hundreds of human services in your area, Call 211 or 1-800-203-1234, TTY: 711, chat or more information at 211ct.org 

 If you are thinking about suicide, call or text 988

You are not alone! You can find support within your community, among friends and family, or by talking to a professional, mentor, or faith leader.

You Can Change!

If you have been abusive in a relationship, you can choose to change your behavior and break the cycle of abuse.

Here are some steps you can take:

✔️Learn more about what abuse is here.

✔️Examine your attitudes, beliefs, and actions, and take responsibility for your abusive behaviors.

Ask your self:

“Why do I feel I need to be controlling?”

“Where did I learn this?”

“How are my actions affecting the people I care about?”

✔️Take an exit ramp – learn how to pause and slow down, go for a walk and take deep breaths, and become aware of negative or controlling thoughts.

✔️Share your commitment to change with someone you trust who can support you in being accountable.

✔️Reach out for professional help, counseling, or a group for people working to stop abusive behavior.

✔️Check out this workbook for fathers who have caused harm and want to change (its helpful even if you are not a father)

✔️Contact the following resources for support:

  A Call For Change Helpline for people who are- or at risk- of using abusive and controlling behaviors, call 877-898-3411 from 10am to 10pm ET, visit ACallforChangeHelpline

 Find an intervention program or provider in Connecticut, https://www.ctadv.org/advocacy/bip

 Find a responsible fatherhood program or provider in Connecticut, https://portal.ct.gov/fatherhood

Connecticut 211 helps you locate hundreds of human services in your area. call 211 or 1-800-203-1234, TTY:711, chat or more information at 211ct.org

 If you’re thinking about suicide, call or text 988

Change is hard and requires seeking new thinking  and responses. But choosing healing is choosing a different future- for us and those we love.